


Capricorn: cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills

by Skchorpion



Series: zodiac'd [1]
Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: F/M, I have no idea what will come out of this, M/M, Zodiac signs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:16:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3838516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skchorpion/pseuds/Skchorpion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles loves reading horoscopes... yup that's all</p>
            </blockquote>





	Capricorn: cold-hearted motherfuckers without any social skills

"So-so-so," mumbled Stiles whilst reading his newest book on astrology. "Who do we have here? Scotty boyyy."

Scott didn't bother raising his head, he had had a long run yesterday night and was really-really tired and just wanted to get this goddamn pack meeting over with and hopefully see Allison before bed.

" 'You may have the impression that people are lying to you or hiding something from you. Or it may be you're the one who lies about certain things or hides what you do.' Well that's not nice Scotty boy. Why are you making things so complicated? 'Don't be afraid to express your feelings today.' HEY Scotty, tell me what's on your mind, express yourself with your inner.... words??" Stiles grinned at the boy before him. Scott rolled his eyes. "Ah Scott, you are no fun at all," Stiles sighed, but kept going.  
"It also says that neck kisses make you weak... Should I start practicing them on you?" Stiles made mocking kissing sounds. Scott took his bag from the floor and decided to find Derek on his way out. Derek wouldn't have left if it was something so important that it had to be dealt with right now. " 'Libras want to fight everyone but only with their lips'... Well now we all know what's going on between you and Allison, huh?" yelled Stiles to the back of Scott's head, but the tired teenager was already out of his reach. He decided to move on to the next person sitting on the couch. 

"Cora... What even are you? Probably some fucked up controlfreak like scorpions or leos or something... Ooooh, it is leo, right?" Cora hissed at him, but a quick glance proved that the cat's claws were not out yet. So of course, Stiles gave it a go.  
" 'This is a moment to start being creative in your life and stop being afraid of not having any talent.' Hmh, boring. Who would dare to say that leos have no talent? Especially this one. They'll skin you and call it art. These authors don't know their shit," sighed the boy, shaking his head disapprovingly. " 'And in the romance department, the love of your life might be right in front of you.' See? Now we're getting down to the truth. 'Try lifting your eyes from the romance novels and look around, Leo. The perfect mate could be any number of people in your daily life. You just have to let yourself see.' Just FYI, I'm sitting in front of you, right? I'm not saying it's me... but hey, it can be me I am very a-okayokayokay I'll shuddup I know." Stiles stopped with one breath and decided not to get any deeper to this horoscope as he didn't want any scratchmarks on his very human and not-healing-superfast-thanks-to-being-a-monster skin, thank you.

"I'm just going to read Lydia because I have done so since the day I got to know when her birthday is.... Hm let's see, pisces.... Love horoscope." Stiles' eyes skimmed quickly through the text. "Hmh, unwanted attention my ASS, everyone knows you dreamers love compliments and praising." Cora snorted and looked away, amusement clear on her face.

Stiles threw an indignant look at her, before raising his voice to ask "Hey when is Derek's birthday anyway?" 

He was actually surprised to awknowledge that they had met so long ago, yet he didn't even know his zodiac sign. But then again Derek didn't seem like the kind of person you would just go to and ask about their birthday.

"December 25th," snapped an annoyed voice behind him. God, didn't that sex-etalon-psychopath have anywhere to live? Fucking scorpios, mate.

Stiles scowled at Peter, but the insidious v-neck-werewolf had already turned his back to walk up the stairs. 

"A capricorn? I don't know shit about capricorns... Except for that they like black and they never care for their lives." Stiles sighed as he opened his laptop to get as much astrological information on Derek as he could before the man would step into the room and demand them to get off his lawn or something.

"Welllll.... He is definitely in the 'Killer death stare' squad, yes... Apparantly wants to fight Iggy Azalea - that I didn't know, but hey, who doesn't want to shut that mouth up? As a greek god he would be... Hephaestus, god of weapons and fire - that's just mean but yeah, he is a god nevertheless.." Cora seemed to be interested as she shifted a bit to sit closer to the boy blabbering to himself. 

"Yeah he has always been a shit artist, though I can't really see him being anyone's muse, that prick," she muttered after Stiles turned his laptop around so that she could also see the astrology posts in Stiles's blog. "Ahahaha I really can't imagine him sending white boy texts, I'm sorry... He would probably just send like one word texts with no explanation, like, ever. He does seek affirmation though.." Cora's mind wondered off and Stiles scrolled on his own for a while. He had just lost himself at the 'Don't touch me, motherfucker.' when Derek came back in.

"Oh hey... Did you know you were - wait where was it - 'old rabbit man with a lettuce'? Wait do you guys even know what memes are? ....'Mr Coolest Cat Around'?" Stiles was having way too much fun to care about Derek's furrowing brow. 

Cora decided to add some because hey why not - Stiles was right, Derek was a total Sourwolf. " 'Capricorn expectation: cool, calm, collected ambitious. Capricorn reality: power starved baby that just needs love' - oh you poor baby... Not being the Alpha really got the best of you."

Stiles smiled as he saw Derek's face grimace into confusion. " 'Capricorn: the heat in your throat when someone is lying and you know it.' Well you guys know it too well, fucking werewolves, mate. 'Wanting to break something just to break it. Wearing a big sweater.' Oh you big bad cuddlemonster, I bet you love hugs and green tea with books, too." 

Derek's eartips went a little red and his jaw clenched as he looked out of the window. 

"Oh, they say you are very 'unforgiving, won't tell you they're angry but they will try to bring you down in other ways, stop talking to you' when you're angry, ain't that nice? Hey? You with me?" Stiles waved his hand to get Derek's attention back to him.

Derek scowled. Of course.

Stiles retreated a bit, not having enough room on the couch to back down completely. Core tried not to laugh but failed miserably.

"Stiles."

"I get it I get it, I'll stop," said Stiles with a straight voice. Besides, he had now enough information to go home and check whether their zodiac signs would match each other and what Capricorns are like in bed and yeah probably jerk off to the idea of that, but hey better stop thinking about sex, the oversensitive creatures of the night are surrounding him and he certainly doesn't want to explain the sudden smell of arousal to Cora, who will most definitely be rude enough to ask.

Derek seemed to have already gotten the hint of it in the air, his expression turning quickly from annoyed to confused again an then into panic.

"Yup I'm outta here." Stiles shoved the laptop in his bag and made it out of the building within seconds.

Cora sniffed the air in confusion, but Derek only shook his head, closing the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand I used this site for today's horoscopes (the book in the fic): http://www.horoscope.com/
> 
> and so-called Stiles's blog is here: http://silhouettesinsummer.tumblr.com/tagged/zodiac


End file.
